“See I’ve always hated unknowns, and now that I’m facing the biggest one there is, I want to know what to expect. I want to know what’s going to happen to me after I die.” – Ivan (Proof s1/ep1)

Originally, my plan for the second post on this site would be a continuation of sorts on the first. I wrote a draft in my email where I was brainstorming topics to write about and what logical order they should be presented in. It made sense to describe more of my previous intuitive developments so future experiences I would want to talk about had some background information. As I’ve mentioned, there have been numerous situations, of a paranormal nature, that have taken place between second grade and present day.

However, due to recent news in my personal life, I feel both compelled and inspired to discuss something a bit left field (but still relevant): near death experiences.

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Has anyone started to watch that new show on TNT called “Proof”? It’s only about six episodes in to it’s first season, but I’ve been keeping up and I think it has promise and potential to be entertaining as well as thought-provoking. Without giving too much away, the premise is that a surgeon makes a deal with a dying billionaire to discover information regarding the possibility of an afterlife in exchange for the funds to practice medicine globally. The protagonist, Cat, and her assistants have been recently attempting to do so by interviewing patients who claim to have had NDEs [near death experiences]. Each character, of course, has their own back story and complications to keep the story fresh and stay relevant to the overarching plot, but it’s easy to point out the similarities (as depicted by the writers); they claim to have witnessed their physical bodies in a dying state from the perspective of the ceiling, and something/one of another, now visible, realm is making an attempt at contact.
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Okay, why am I talking about a “fictional” television series still in it’s debut stage?
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Well the main reason is because my family received some devastating news over the weekend. My father’s grandmother, my great grandmother, had been taken to the emergency room because of internal bleeding. She is 93 years-old and very fragile; surviving the type of surgery that may correct it would be a miracle in itself. The doctors and my nan’s caretaker, her daughter (my horrid and purely evil, for multiple reasons, grandmother), have decided against taking that risk. With her condition, it’s been estimated that she is on limited time.
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My parents, when they got that phone call, took me and my sister over to the hospital to see her. Because of ongoing external family drama, again here’s to looking at you grandmom, we hadn’t seen my nan in quite a long time. However, when we got to the ER we learned that she had been discharged just a few hours prior. We couldn’t understand that. Why discharge her if she was so weak and in such a state? The next drive was over to the nursing home where she has been a resident since about October. It was such an odd place. Very dystopian in design and seemingly void of all humans; in any life really. In fact on our way into the front door a crow had cawed from a tree behind us. My mom gave me such a look that I could only return it right back. If you are aware of any crow legends then you can see why.
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That lobby floor was completely empty and practically dark. No directory or anything. We decided to take the elevator up to the first floor and by chance my mom looked over into one of the hallways and saw my uncle leaning from out of a room. Thank goodness too, because there was no nurse around to help anyone, including some of the patients out-and-about looking lost. (I don’t believe in coincidences by the way.)
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Upon entering, I thought my nan was a couple of pillows on the bed. That’s how small she had become in the time we’ve spent apart. She’s practically now blind, even with glasses, and almost deaf in both ears. If you want her to hear you you have to get right up to her face and speak slow and loud with a deep tone. It’s heartbreaking. A woman I always remembered to be so fierce and independent, even when in her late seventies, is now so fragile and helpless. She couldn’t even sit up on her own. I could cry just thinking about it. And knowing what her life has been like in recent years with my grandmother? It’s painful! She had never deserved this fate.
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We all stepped out of the room for a few minutes while the nurses did some sheet changing, and we got some more information. My aunt and uncle had been there for a while and I don’t think my grandmom really left. Apparently, they never anticipated leaving the ER. When my nan got admitted they were expecting her to pass away almost immediately. Her blood pressure was almost unfathomably low and she was barely responsive. But the game changer? While my grandmom sat with her in that ER space (they weren’t even going to give her an official room) she starting to speak. She became aware just enough to know that it was my grandmom beside her and begged her to come as close to her face as it took to have a conversation with her. She asked my grandmom if she also saw that bright light that began to shine. When my grandmom said “no” my nan became increasingly frustrated and angry, demanding that she told the truth because there was no way that she couldn’t also see it. Then she just kept repeating over and over that “happy times were coming”; as if she was trying the best she could to make her understand what it was she was realizing.
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My nan is an avid believer. If there is one thing I remember about my childhood with her, before things got heated, is that she was a true and fearful believer. What little bit of official Sunday school teaching I received was very sugar-coated and kid friendly. Huge on the advocacy of love everybody. But when my nan babysat me and my sister? It was raw information. In fact, she was the first one to introduce me to the idea of “the war in Heaven”. I know that if she was capable now, we’d have long discussions about my academic undertaking.
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She didn’t go to that light though. What did she do? Showed improvement. She soon began speaking to the hospital attendants and her blood pressure started to stabilize. It shocked everyone. She wasn’t out of the woods by far (the bleeding continued) but she was given the okay to be discharged. The estimated time she was given had increased.
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My grandmom was never a believer like my nan, but her face when telling this story was priceless, completely in awe. My aunt, who I was standing next to while being told, turned to me and immediately asked me what I thought. I told her the three words that I had been thinking the entire time. “I believe it”.
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And I do.
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I believe that there is life after death, and those who have had a NDE see what they are allowed to see and told what they are allowed to be told. It’s not a manifestation created by dwindling comprehension of reality. It’s putting a foot into the door of the next stage of existence.
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The post is becoming long and I don’t want to stray away from my original thought process, so I will get to the idea of transitioning from one stage to another in a later update. However, I want it to be known that this exchange made a huge impact. Not just for me (it actually grows onto a list of other NDE stories I have and will share), but for members of my family who now know and have started to discuss the wonder of it. Hopefully, that also goes for anyone who has read this.
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I’ll soon get to symbolism and, like I mentioned, other NDE stories. I will also keep updated on what is happening with nan. I’m not sure what I think would be best, but I pray that God does what He knows to be right by her. If anyone has an similar stories, I’d love to hear them. Please comment or leave a message.
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Until then…
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~Stay Spooky~,
Nicole Felicity

3 thoughts on ““See I’ve always hated unknowns, and now that I’m facing the biggest one there is, I want to know what to expect. I want to know what’s going to happen to me after I die.” – Ivan (Proof s1/ep1)

  1. Pingback: “Things That Make You Go, ‘Hmmm’” – C+C Music Factory | a realm to share

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